Testimony - Erin Elizabeth
"And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death." (Rev. 12:11)
I have always felt a bit awkward in sharing my testimony. It wasn't that I didn't know *what* to say, it was that I didn't know *how* to explain it. Most people have a testimony that begins with what they were before Christ, how God saved them, and who they are now. What was challenging for me to explain was that even though God saved me as young child, I had/was in a seemingly great bondage to sin. I understood the Word of God in that Christians are free from the law of sin and death (Rom 8:2), and I knew that as a believer, I would sin, but that it wasn't a characteristic of a believer to be bound by sin. It was confusing to me that even though I was a believer, my seeming bondage to sin didn’t align with Scripture, as I understood it. Why didn’t I have victory over these sins?
I grew up with parents who not only raised me in church, but who loved the Lord and raised me to love the Lord Jesus with all of my heart. They exemplified Deuteronomy 6:7 “You shall teach them (God’s commandments) diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
Although my parents weren’t in full-time ministry, our family was one that was always ministering to the body of Christ and to those who are not yet saved. I am ever so grateful for the example they have been to me as I’ve watched them walk through many trials with unwavering faith in Jesus Christ.
Despite everything in my life before now, spending time in church, Sunday school, and reading my Bible often, I was wrong about how I thought the saved became saved. In fact, the more I grow in understanding who God is, the more I find out how man-centered I had understood salvation to be. I prided myself on having a "correct" view of God and salvation, and I am astounded at how undeniably inaccurate I was.
It has not been until the past year that I have understood truly what Scripture teaches about salvation. This is my first time sharing my testimony since I’ve understood what Scripture teaches about God’s grace, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude towards the Lord Jesus that he has taught me (and is still teaching), what he did for His own glory in my life.
One of the greatest errors I had in my beliefs was that I thought my salvation was ultimately hinged on the "decision" I made to "accept" Christ. I had what I now know to be, a synergistic view of salvation (in thinking that I worked *with* God to cause my salvation) and thought my "faith" was something within me that I conjured up and chose to put in Christ. In other words, I believed that if it wasn't for my "own ability" to choose God (which is how many define "free will"), then salvation wasn't possible (although I would have never stated it with this conclusion, and in fact didn't even understand fully myself what I believed). I thought that if I hadn’t first “decided” to be saved and “chose” God, I wouldn’t be saved.
I am aware that many people might be confused as they read this and think, "What exactly is wrong with that thinking? ...That’s how I thought one becomes saved." So, I want to clearly explain through Scripture and my own experience, 1.) *why* it’s a wrong view, and 2.) *what* is the right view of salvation.
To begin, I would like to explain what it means to be saved by grace ALONE.
Scripture teaches that because of our sin/lawlessness, we are slaves to sin and death (Rom 8:2), enemies of God (James 4:4) and spiritually dead (Eph 2:1).
In Romans 3, this is how Paul describes the condition we are in before we are saved:
“None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”
“Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive.”
“The venom of asps is under their lips.”
“Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”
“Their feet are swift to shed blood; in their paths are ruin and misery, and the way of peace they have not known.”,
“There is no fear of God before their eyes.”
Further on in Romans 3, Paul continues in saying, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
When the Bible says you are spiritually dead, it means you are dead. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING good in us that we can conjure up that can possibly aid in our becoming saved. I've heard many people use the illustration that goes something like this:
Imagine you are in the sea and there is a huge storm and the waves are crashing, lightning is flashing, you are struggling, barely able to hang on, ready to sink at any time.... Now imagine God is reaching his hand out to save you. ...all you have to do is grab hold of his hand! Accept him into your life, and He'll save you!
According to Scripture, this is terribly wrong! It makes God out to be waiting only for us to “accept” Him and us to be the ones that salvation hinges on. Scripture teaches that we are DEAD in our sins! (Eph. 2:1) We have NO ABILITY in our own selves to "reach" out to God. There is no "all we have to do!" We are not able to do anything! WE ARE SPIRITUALLY DEAD! To say we have to "do" anything to cause God to save us is to make salvation to be by works and reject grace.
But what about Romans 10:9-11, you say?
Romans 10:9-11 reads:
“because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”
Isn’t that something I have to do in order to be saved? Yes(!) it is, but it isn’t something you can do WITHOUT GOD making you able to do it! 1 Corinthians 12:3 says:
Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says “Jesus is accursed!” and no one can say “Jesus is Lord” except in the Holy Spirit.
You can not “believe in your heart and confess with your mouth” through your own ability--to think so is to take Romans 10:9-11 out of context. It is SEVERELY important that when interpreting Scripture, we look at Scripture through Scripture (i.e. with an exegetical approach). When we look at one Scripture without examining it with the rest of Scripture we are in danger of having very bad theology (in the least), and at most forming cults.
Paul sets the stage for Romans 10 in Romans 9 when he explains that our salvation is not dependent on our ability to choose God, but on God’s ability to choose us! Paul uses 3 examples to make his point clear.
In verses 10-13, Paul explains God’s choosing (or unconditional election) through Jacob and Esau. He writes:
“And not only so, but also when Rebecca had conceived children by one man, our forefather Isaac, though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God's purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of his call— she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” (emphasis added) In Genesis, the two were representative of nations in the womb of Rebekah but verses 6-8 clearly show that Paul is using them to talk about individual children.
In verses 14-18, Paul uses Pharaoh as an example to prove God’s authority in our salvation.
“What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God's part? By no means! For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.” (emphasis added)
In verses 19-26, Paul uses the Gentiles' salvation as an example that it is God who chooses who he will save and who he will not. Paul states that God is perfectly in the right to choose whoever he wishes. He answers the questions in advance, anticipating the responses of man-centered men.
“You will say to me then, “Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?” But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honored use and another for dishonorable use? What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory— even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles? As indeed he says in Hosea,
“Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’
and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’”
“And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’
there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.’”
What about John 3:16? It says whoever believes will be saved. Well, no one believes apart from God saving them by His grace and causing them to respond to Him in belief!
Ephesians 2:8-9 reads, "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."
God's grace can be defined as his unmerited favor. Just as we didn't do anything to merit our own salvation, we didn't do anything to "help" God save us. God, in his sovereignty, by his grace alone saved us. Spiritually dead people are just that - dead. Every aspect of salvation is a gift from God. This includes, but is not limited to, saving faith (Phil 1:6, Eph 2:8, 1 Cor 4:7, John 15:5).
As a result of believing my salvation was ultimately caused because I "decided" to be saved (i.e. my own work, namely, I put my faith in Christ), I also believed that I, or anyone for that matter, could lose their salvation. You would think that in believing this, I would sin less, but in reality, it was quite the opposite. Because I believed my salvation was dependent on me, I unknowingly made myself the god of my salvation. In being the “god of my salvation” (again, meaning I thought my salvation was ultimately determined by me and not God), it was very easy to self-justify the severity of my sin.
In putting myself in this role, I created myself as an idol, of which Scripture CLEARLY warns us against, and as a result provoked the Lord's jealousy. I recently did a word study on the Lord’s jealousy and trembled at what I discovered.
Ponder these verses on the jealousy of God:
Ex. 34:14
For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.
Deut. 4:24
For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.
Deut 6:15
for the Lord your God in your midst is a jealous God, lest the anger of the Lord your God be kindled against you, and he destroy you from off the face of the earth.
Deut. 32:16
They stirred him to jealousy with strange gods; with abominations they provoked him to anger.
Ps. 78:58
For they provoked him to anger with their high places; they moved him to jealousy with their idols.
Ezekiel 23:25
And I will direct my jealousy against you, that they may deal with you in fury. They shall cut off your nose and your ears, and your survivors shall fall by the sword. They shall seize your sons and your daughters, and your survivors shall be devoured by fire.
Nahum 1:2
The Lord is a jealous and avenging God; the Lord is avenging and wrathful; the Lord takes vengeance on his adversaries and keeps wrath for his enemies.
1 Cor. 10:22
Shall we provoke the Lord to jealousy? Are we stronger than he?
James 4:5
Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?
The jealous eyes of God fell upon me and he ordained it that I would discover and experience the affects of idolatry (i.e. serving the god of myself). I have no doubt that I was a believer (which is evident in the fact that I loved the Lord and the things of the Lord, had a great desire to “be holy as God is holy,” was convicted by my sin, desired to glorify Christ in all I said and did, and the mere fact that God persevered me), but in attempting to place myself in authority over God, I flung open a WIDE DOOR of sin to walk through, and THE LORD allowed me to! God for the sake of His own name and for his glory, proved me gravely wrong. I experienced in a very real way what it was like to have God’s jealousy yearning over the spirit he has made to dwell in me (James 4:5). (Note: nonbelievers/unregenerate people don’t have God’s Spirit dwelling in them.) In believing my salvation was ultimately determined by myself, through a choice I made, I was greatly burdened with attempting to persevere myself.
(As a side note, I want to briefly explain what I’m not saying. I’m not saying that man is not responsible for his sin and that God will not hold him accountable for it. The question soon becomes, “If it is God alone who saves us, how can we be held accountable for our sin?” There are many Scriptures that assure us that people will be accountable for their sin apart from Christ, but I think one of the best illustrations of this is in the book of Habakkuk. God clearly tells Habakkuk that he is going to raise up the Chaldeans, who were known for their brutality, against his people as punishment (Hab. 1:5-11) Yet, in the end of Habakkuk, God is clear that he will hold the Chaldeans accountable for their sin (Hab. 2:6-20). So, in God’s sovereignty though he chooses whom he wills, he is still able to hold them accountable for sin.)
In May of 2004 Todd, (who is now my husband), began to teach me what Scripture *really* teaches about God's grace. I am still studying and learning, as he is teaching, but when I came to understand that because of my sinful state (of which everyone is born with – Rom 5:19) I am completely depraved, spiritually dead, and completely unable of even getting to God, I began, for the first time to understand the grace of God in salvation. I realized that to think salvation is dependent on me makes salvation to be a wage and not a gift of God’s grace.
When Todd began to teach me the doctrines of grace I experienced a newness that I never imagined possible. I’m not quite sure how to articulate the feeling I felt and feel as I ponder the grace of God, but to say the least, “all things became new.” When I read the Word now, the filter is no longer viewing my faith as something of my own, but only as the undeserved gift of God’s grace. When I understood, that left up to myself, apart from God, I would always choose to sin, and that the only way I am able to be saved and able to do anything pleasing to God is because HE is the one who enables me, because of the righteousness that is God’s and not mine, I am assured in the security of my salvation. (Phil. 3:9)
While I was still a sinner, at the right time Christ died for me. His wrath that was once upon me because of my sin which made me separated from him, his enemy, and spiritually dead, he placed on his perfect son Jesus Christ who, through the cross, paid for my sins and became the propitiation (appeasing substitution) for me. God imputed (counted) His righteousness to me and no longer sees me as the condemned sinner deserving of hell that I was, but granted me the gifts of saving faith and repentance, forgiving me and adopting me as his daughter.
In his sovereignty, he chose me unconditionally before the foundation of the world not based on my own good works, but on the particularly good work of his Son alone.
It is God’s grace alone that has saved me and it is God’s grace alone that perseveres me through every trial and temptation, continually granting me repentance and saving me from Himself, by Himself, and for Himself.
There is nothing that I can claim that makes me deserving of spending eternity with Him. It is ALL CHRIST– Every breath, every heartbeat, every merit, every good work, everything good that I am, was, and will ever be, is ALL CHRIST!
The fact that I love Him, is not credited to myself, but only to Him. I could not love Him, had He not enabled me too. Everything good is from Him, and to the praise of His glory forever and ever!
God’s grace to me was irresistible. As much as this might sound like heresy to some, I remember at times thinking, “I don’t think its possible for me to not be a Christian. – not because I make myself one, but because God would not allow me to be anything but.”
God’s grace has walked me through every dark place and persevered me for himself. His grace has redeemed and restored me and renewed my mind into right thinking… He has loved me and declared me among the righteous, and the blameless.
In closing, it is my prayer that those of you who are reading this and are not saved, that God would give you ears to hear his voice and save you from himself for himself. And, for those who God has already saved yet don’t understand grace, it is my prayer that through God’s testimony in my life, grace would be explained and revealed to you. (Rev. 15:4)
In grace alone,
Erin Elizabeth
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined usfor adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making knownto us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guaranteeof our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory” (Eph 1:3-14)
For further reading see:
http://www.disposablechristian.org/blog/2005/01/what-does-it-mean-to-become-saved.html
http://www.monergism.com/thethreshold/articles/topic/grace.html
1 Cor 13:4-8a Couple's Small Group
How God loves and how we should love each other maritally 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Love – so we can live it, talk about it and know it and pray for it all together
1Co 13:4a Love is patient and kind;
Love is not impatient. Love is not unkind. Love waits. Love does good things. When Erin and I were in Africa, we put the emphasis of 'patience' on the pre-marital relationship—waiting for sex. Be patient. The command to BE patient in the Bible when James offered it was twice to be patient in waiting for the coming of the Lord.(James 5:7-8) The Lord is also known as the bridegroom. John the Baptist called Jesus that as did Jesus refer to himself that way. In Revelation, soon after the second coming, (whatever your eschatology I think), the bridegroom meets his bride, the new church. We become the ‘new Jerusalem’.
“Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Rev. 21:3-4)
Therefore, James says ‘be patient’, like we say to African schoolchildren and engaged and single people, be patient. That’s good. There’s more to patience though, every day.
Before we get too deep into these verses, we have to talk much about God and God loving us, and loving us in a way that we’ll see goes far beyond how God loves the world, in general, or how God loves everybody, in general.
You are not loved by God the same way he loves everybody, if you are saved, if you are the beautiful bride he finds so lovely despite everything you are--Yes, I said everything you are, not everything you do. God doesn’t just dislike or hate our evil actions. God doesn’t always necessarily "love the sinner hate the sin." God mostly just hates sinners who sin against him repeatedly and unashamedly and never repent and are never forgiven. It’s true. God hates all evildoers. Psalm five verse five: “The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers,” God. That’s just the most direct way to say it. Destroy. Store up wrath. Crush. Those are other ways.
There is something special about being the beloved of God. All throughout the Bible we see references to God’s beloved. Paul specifically separately addresses the beloved of God, or those who are ‘loved by God’ (in some translations) adding also in 1 Thessalonians 1:4 that those beloved were chosen by God. We are God’s agapetos (beloved in Greek).
Question: Guys, do you love your wives the same way you love every woman? Wives, does that question make you cringe? If I tell my wife I love her and call her my beloved, and then go out and love every other woman in the world just like I love her, what does that do to her understanding of the word beloved? It’s not very meaningful, is it? And I probably don’t love her very much at all. But, guys, you know you love your wives very much. And God loves them and us even more. (Credit to John Piper for this illustration)
If you believe that God loves you just as or only as much as he loves absolutely everyone else, you're missing out on the impaling truth and beauty of passionate covenant jealous love. Be loved, all you beloved of God. If you believe that God loves you like he loves any nonbeliever, you won't comprehend "the breadth and length and height and depth" of "the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Eph. 3:18, Rom 8:39)
Patience. God’s love is the foundation for our marital love in patience. Behold God's loving patience and kindness:
(Rom 2:4) Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?
Here is the general love toward all:
2Pe 3:9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
2Pe 3:10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed.
And here is the special love for his children:
Mar 13:19 For in those days there will be such tribulation as has not been from the beginning of the creation that God created until now, and never will be.
Mar 13:20 And if the Lord had not cut short the days, no human being would be saved. But for the sake of the elect, whom he chose, he shortened the days.
There are two 'but's in those two pairs of verses I want to hone in on. 2 Peter says God does love all people and desires that all of them would reach repentance BUT... but what will happen before 'all' reach repentance? The end will come. It will be the end of God's patience for the living unrepentant, and the last day will come like a thief in the night. It's the end for the all 'all' BUT all of the elect will be saved. The last disastrous days, Jesus says in Mark 13, are cut short for the sake of the elect, God's beloved. For he is not against us but for us. His stealthy knife cuts the beloved free and the others off.
God is patient with us and his kindness leads us to repentance. (Rom. 2:4)
He cuts short the days and comes like a thief not against us but for us who are being saved. [Rev 16:15 ("Behold, I am coming like a thief! Blessed is the one who stays awake, keeping his garments on, that he may not go about naked and be seen exposed!")]
Listen to the Apostle James:
Jam 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
He's talking about patience. Slow down. Wait. Think. Pray. In other words, don’t do the first thing that comes to mind. It’s probably wrong. It’s probably coming from the flesh. If God were not patient toward you, you wouldn’t be here. Be patient with your spouses. If our love for our spouses is from God and like God’s, we should find in our hearts a great amount of patience for them. It is good and kind to be patient.
Again, James, in chapter 5 of his epistle tells us when we should be patient. We should generally be patient all the time, but particularly in suffering.
Jam 5:11 Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.
Our long suffering is the Lord's patience with us in his mercy and compassion.
This is a command that applies more greatly in marriage than in other relationships. There are much quicker points when you will not be held accountable for walking away from someone, being ‘impatient’ to some degree, and not putting up with every kind of evil. It is wrong to be overly patient with evil. Patience and impatience are not absolutely ‘black and white’ all the time. There is a wrong way to be patient.
There is a point where it is evil to be patient. It’s wrong to wait to long to act sometimes. There is a patience that trusts the providence of God and there is a patience that ignores the commands of God. Likewise, there is a righteous impatience when it comes to doing good. Be patient in love. Be especially patient with your second love.
Kindness is obvious, but how is it special in marriage? There are kind things that a husband only does for his wife and some kind things she would only do for him. If I massage a woman’s hands like I massage my wife’s hands, out of love and kindness, I have the wrong view of what it is to be kind to people and to love my neighbor. Love your spouses more than other people. God does.
1Co 13:4b love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
This is the first point of departure where we say the love of First Corinthians Thirteen is not entirely representative of God’s love.
God does not 'envy' by strict definition of the word 'envy'. But God is very jealous. [Exodus 34:14 (for you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God)]
The word for envy the Greek is actually the verb form of “zeal” so I feel a spark of liberty in this commentary.
zēloō
Thayer Definition:
1) to burn with zeal
1a) to be heated or to boil with envy, hatred, anger
1a1) in a good sense, to be zealous in the pursuit of good
1b) to desire earnestly, pursue
1b1) to desire one earnestly, to strive after, busy one’s self about him
1b2) to exert one’s self for one (that he may not be torn from me)
1b3) to be the object of the zeal of others, to be zealously sought after
1c) to envy
This following verse was the first verse to introduce the arrival of my bride at our wedding. I was and am jealously zealous for my perfect gift from God, my bride.(James 1:17)
Song 8:6 Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD.
Jealously cannot be taken as a negative word in this context, either by its definition or by its fierceness.
God boasts. Take all of the puffing up and exaggeration out of the common use of the word boast and God does it. God is God. His boasting is totally based on the truth.
Boasting can be very very good.
Psa 34:2 My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad.
Here boasting is associated with humility not arrogance.
Jer 9:24 but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD."
And here it is good to boast in what the Lord delights in.
1Co 1:31 Therefore, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."
Again in the New Testament (one of many).
Gal 6:14 But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.
And again we have it, this time with it being clear that the cross is the source of all human unsinful boasting.
Arrogance, by general definition, is pride based on false perceptions or exaggerations so God is not arrogant in that major sense. But God has every right to be all of these things. The triune Almighty God is the only God of the universe. He is worthy of all worship, all praise, all glory, all honor. There is nothing better than him. He deserves it all and more than anyone else he knows it. He is worthy of it.
Pro 16:5 Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD; be assured, he will not go unpunished.
I don’t have anything good to say about arrogance but I will say that a lot of people misapply the definition of the word and mislabel people as arrogant who are simply agreeing with the truth of the Bible. Making claims to exclusive truth when it is the truth of the Bible is not necessarily arrogant.
Now, with all that said, we have absolutely no rights at all to be envious of our spouses, boast over them, or show them arrogance. Everything we'll say about love in 1 Corinthians 13 is connected closely with oneness but we'll point it out in this section particularly. Your spouse is yours.(Song 6:3) Everything they have should be yours; there shouldn’t be anything to envy or competition.(1 Cor 7:4) In boasting and arrogance, basically what we have are competition and putdowns. If you putdown your spouse, it is only an attack on oneself. As for competition, in all things you are to work with your spouse, not compete against him or her. Be a team, always. Do not pick sides against your mate, your own flesh.(Eph. 5:31) We have all heard, ‘a house divided against itself cannot stand.’(Matt. 12:25) Spouses, you are each other’s. Be one and boast in the Lord.
God knows how much and what we deserve (nothing) and he wants to give us much more. When he puts love in us for our spouses, it won’t be compatible with enviousness, boasting, or arrogance toward them.
1Co 13:5a or rude. It does not insist on its own way;
The word translated rude literally means “to act unbecomingly.”
aschēmoneō
Thayer Definition:
1) to act unbecomingly
It appears one other time in the New Testament, as far as I know, earlier in 1 Cor 7:36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry--it is no sin.
It is unbecoming of one to be sexually immoral with his or her betrothed. It is better to get married and not sin. This is how Erin and I spoke of this part of the verse in Africa. We related rudeness and insisting on its own way to demanding sex in dating relationships. It is better to do things God's way. Love that comes from God loves God and his ways more strongly than the strength of the passion for one's betrothed. (More on that when we discuss 'Passion / Purity' in a future week's entry)
God insists on his own way and so should you. Love insists on God’s way.
Deu 32:4 The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he.
If you and your spouse ever get to the point where God’s way, the Bible, doesn’t tell you what to do, start over at the beginning. You might not think that the Bible says which way is the right way to make a left hand turn into a busy street… maybe it doesn’t… but it does tell you how to behave toward each other in any situation of disagreement. Love does not insist on its own way. Another way to say it is that love is 'not demanding'.
Application point: Read the Bible more and learn his ways.
1Co 13:5b it is not irritable or resentful;
I think, by definition, irritation is a rather small thing. The love of God is big. If the love you have for your spouse comes from God, perhaps even nothing may irritate you.
Now, my Greek is very elementary at this point so there is probably a modifier or something I’m missing but as far as I can tell, the first half of this latter half of this verse could be read, “Love is not irritating.” Here’s the word:
paroxunō
Thayer Definition:
1) to make sharp, sharpen
1a) to stimulate, spur on, urge
1b) to irritate, provoke, arouse to anger
1b1) to scorn, despise
1b2) provoke, make angry
1b3) to exasperate, to burn with anger
That seems to be very active to me, not passive. Love doesn’t get on people’s nerves. Quickly, apply it to marriage--Don’t do things that irritate your spouse. Your spouse is the person you should know more intimately than any other human being. You should know what bothers them and you should not do those things.
Sometimes we irritate people without knowing it. We know people who are irritating unbeknownst to themselves. We don’t tell them for whatever reason but we should tell our spouses when they irritate us so they can learn to love the way God says love should be. This is not to say there is a case for anyone to be irritated. In love, forgive the irritation and continue on with your spouse and Christ.
A better way we learned to think of resentful here is to say love does not keep a record of wrongs.
Psa 103:12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
If you are forgiven by God, he is not resentful toward you. His wrath against you has ceased. This is all grace. He is gracious toward you, especially if you are saved and reading this, and how much moreso should you be gracious toward your spouse? All of us Christians are sinners and continue to sin when we are saved. Do not hold your spouses mistakes, which may not even be sins, against them.
Forgive one another as you have been forgiven. Actually, we are taught to pray to receive forgiveness only according to how we forgive others.(Matt. 6:12) Grace. We haven’t spoken of it enough. Love comes from grace. God is gracious toward us before he loves us. Have grace for each other and love will flow.
Irritability is the opposite of one aspect of grace. Resentfulness is its sworn enemy.
1Co 13:6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
There are two different words for rejoice here:
chairō
Thayer Definition:
1) to rejoice, be glad
2) to rejoice exceedingly
sugchairō
Thayer Definition:
1) to rejoice with, take part in another’s joy
2) to rejoice together, to congratulate
They are translated the same here but the key words are ‘at’ and ‘with’. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, that is to rejoice in any way. Love rejoices at and not only ‘at’ but with the truth. It is a mutually enjoyed rejoicing. This love is agape. Agape does not rejoice at wrongdoing. It rejoices with the truth. Agape is the true love from God and we all know that this love and “Truth” are closely linked.
2 Cor. 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Love from God is righteous. It divides the truth from the wrongdoing and rejoices with truth. The agape love we’re talking about in 1 Corinthians 13, particularly in regard to our spouses, is a fellowshipping love.
Phil. 1:18 What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice,
Paul is full of agape for God’s mission and, here, Paul is rejoicing that the Gospel is going out, even in a pretense—not the truth. Is he rejoicing at the wrongdoing part of it? No, he rejoices that the Gospel is going forth, the truth only.
1Co 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Wow. There are so many other things we could talk about in this verse. So many distractions. We could write books on the practical applicableness of this verse. Or, we could glory now in the cross. Jesus, God and man, showed the greatest love a man can have and laid his life down for the transgressing ungodly sheep. [John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. (John 10:11)]
He bore all their sins, gave them all the work of God of belief (John 6:29), gave them all the hope of faith, and endured it all, for God’s great glory and our great redemption (Gal 3:13). My wife pointed it out to me first and now every time I read this verse it’s all I see.
Verse 7 is love that’s all about the cross. All we have to do is key in on the key words.
1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
Heb 9:28 so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.
He bore all the sins of many. His atonement covered all the sins including unbelief and faithlessness for many. What greater 'all' to bear than this? We could never have bore it ourselves. His love bore all these sins and bought the love for us that bears all things.
John 14:1 Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.
John 11:26 and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?
1 John 4:16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
Jesus Christ crucified and risen is the object of our belief. When the Holy Spirit opens our eyes to see him, giving us new eyes to see, we are attracted to him and believe in him for all that it means to believe in the Son of God. He is the object of our attraction and wanting in salvation and worship.
Matt. 12:21 and in his name the Gentiles will hope.
Heb. 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
He is the object of our hope. We hope in his name and nothing else. Hope is the fruit of such great love.
Heb. 12:2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Heb. 12:3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.
Wow. His love endures torturous murder at the hands of unjust men. Husbands, if his love is truly inside you, hoping for the joy that is set before you, endure all things and lay your lives down for your wives.(Eph 5:25) Do it for Christ. It's the only option you've got if you're obedient to the love he truly gives to his children.
The love that doesn't insist on its own way, isn't rude or impatient, doesn't get irritated, that's the love that endures all things too. Be faithful in little and be faithful in much. If you think you can get over the little things that may irritate you but some things are too big to endure, you don't have the love that isn't irritable. If you are impatient in enduring suffering, the patience you do have probably doesn't come from God. But be faithful with true love when you are in comfort and he will make you faithful when you are in despair.
1Co 13:8a Love never ends.
1Ch 16:36 Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting!" Then all the people said, "Amen!" and praised the LORD.
God is always from everlasting to everlasting. I myself am only from about 24 years ago until everlasting. Glory to God- The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit- forever.
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Addendum:
1Co 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love if you want to be something. The first three verses of first Corinthians thirteen say that without love you are nothing! There is a type of nothingness that is good, [Phil. 3:8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ], but this is not the type of ‘nothing’ that is good. Wanting to be something by being loving is good. It’s like when Paul says God gives eternal life to those who seek glory and honor and immortality.(Rom 2:7) This love that makes someone something is like the glory and honor we should seek. It’s not for us, ultimately. It doesn’t come from us, ultimately. It’s about seeking God and being loving by loving God’s way and anything done in the Holy Spirit is impossible to do without God and it’s impossible to love the right way apart from the Spirit. Pray. Pray that the Spirit would fill you, that you’d less often love the way you want and more often love the way you want to be loved. Let that desire for love come from God. (Psalm 37:4). Let God fill that desire in and of himself. Then let that desire shape the way you flow into loving others.